This is similar to [[Strategic Delays]]. The strategy here is to **repeat back the other person's point of view and wait for them to say yes before I say anything**. ```mermaid flowchart TB A[Wait and listen] ---> B[Repeat back your understanding] ---> C{Did they confirm?} C{Did they confirm?} --Yes--> D[Now say your thing] C{Did they confirm?} --No--> A[Wait and listen] ``` ### This matters because * The other person feels heard. * You gain a confirmed understanding. * Because they feel heard, they calm down and the situation de-escalates. * The other person will be more likely to listen to and empathize with you. Since I don't get to say anything until they confirm, my recap is accurate that prevents me from slipping in any attitude in that paraphrasing. This has the added benefit of making sure each of us is understanding each other in the first place. This can help calm down the other person as well. by making them feel understood. If I get it wrong, this is beneficial to because it reveals a direction I don't actually understand their point of you and the next thing they are going to say is a correction to that that will help me respond more appropriately.