During a 2024 New Years Eve gathering in NYC, we went around the table announcing our resolutions. When my turn came up, I didn't have anything prepared yet I found myself answering immediately: *Being present*. I found it easy to land on this because it was something that had been on my mind so heavily in the preceding weeks. This is what got me focused on the lessons we can learn from [[Being Present - The Little Table and Chairs]] we see everywhere. ### It all started with people I had the chance to go to the city by myself for work a couple weeks before then and had lots of free time on my hands to just walk around, usually without my phone out, and just be. When I added to that the ability to see some friends without the pull on my mind of the current appointment eventually ending and the next appointment urgently starting, it put me in a state of presence I haven't been in for longer than I can remember. Then there were the simple things: I was noticing in the tea aisle how very mindful I was about carefully selecting the right box. I was concentrating with full devotion on the future version of myself and just how satisfied he would be if I chose chamomile for him instead of ginger. Yet when I became that future self, I found myself mindlessly dropping the tea bag in, drinking it before it had properly steeped, and continuing to mindlessly sip away at it with such absence of mind, I probably wouldn't have noticed if it were ginger instead of chamomile. Around the same time, I paid a hefty sum for a chia seed + fruit + adaptogens and whatever other expensive things pudding in the hotel's atrium. Eating it in the hotel room, I realized it was the tea all over again. I was paying no mind to the bite that was in my mouth, only about how good things were going to be once I hurried up and got to the future bites still left in the cup.  _Here is a video about spirituality that as an atheist I have no business posting._ Later I heard the voice of the late Ram Das during a YouTube rabbit hole in the gym speaking as if we were having a conversation about it. He talked about driving around the city, when he realized he had no where else to go. >"Wherever I went, I was always right here." He said we are always thinking there is somewhere else to be, >"Hey man, let's go..." >"Whattya say we..." >"Have you seen the new..." >"It's always somewhere else, it's *out there* somewhere. Never mind the delicious food I already have behind my lips, what really matters is the rest of the cup. Only then will I find peace. The same thing that was gnawing at me about being present with people, food, and my environment has also been nudging me about my financial behavior. It wasn't about what we typically mean be financial behavior like how well I budget my money, invest, live below my means and so on, but how meaningless and excessive I can be with money regardless of how much I have on hand to be meaningless and excessive. It dawned on me that this is simply the same thing. It's "somewhere else. It's out there somewhere." **This is not the hedonistic treadmill** I'm talking about where our enjoyment fades over time and we need greater and more frequent inputs for pleasure, it's about the time before any fading occurs. I don't experience the treadmill with my pudding cup because I never gave myself any enjoyment that could fade to begin with. ## Being present doesn't mean being pleasant Probably what got me started on this journey was hitting a wall emotionally. I would wake up in the middle of the night or consistently wake up permanently after only 5 hours of sleep because my mind was racing. Sometimes with anxiety but often enough just trivial things. It took some time and work with my therapist to realize my lack of presence was chasing away the opportunity to just stop and sit with my feelings. Whenever I had a dull moment, I would take out my phone and call up some on demand stimulation. This would defer the need to process anything until I had no choice to do so. Of course, this happened once I finally got to bed. The mystery of mid-sleep anxiety solved...or at least identified. So the unfortunate reality of this is that being present is going to feel more like going to the gym than going to the spa at times but like going to either places, it's going to be much better for you in the long run. ## Waiting is a luxury I have repeated this to myself countless times, _Waiting is a luxury_, to snap myself out of "it." Waiting means you have something to look forward to. When we have nothing to look forward to, life feels no longer worth living. So why do we fool ourselves into thinking waiting is such a burden? How often have we wished we had more time? Haven't we all felt the dread that time is moving uncomfortably fast—that our age is keeping pace with it but our consciousness of it passing is not? Are we connected enough to how joyful it is to finally have a moment to ourselves drawing only from the satisfaction of being in our own bodies and having our own time be still? We are so stressed out when we are behind schedule, yet when we are made to wait it is literally the opposite of that. I think this is not a cue for us to slap our wrists that we act so irrationally. There's something to be done about this. This is a matter of slowing **acceleration** Life, and especially work is about keeping us always sped up. You must never be in the present moment at work. There's always that future that is more important than the now. You gotta get ready for that meeting! Better check in on that conversation thread and see what the latest is! >"It's always somewhere else, it's *out there* somewhere. We don't go through cycles of speeding up and slowing down. It's more like pressing on the accelerator and letting go of it, never opting for the brake pedal. For some of us, we stop when we crash. I've learned to embrace stillness but I also learned to achieve it through slowness: - Writing my journal entries by hand, much slower than I could typing. - Leaving my phone behind when I walk the dog. Letting him take as long as he needs to sniff. - Driving to a park near my destination and walking the difference. - Bargaining myself for an extra 5 seconds when I'm pointlessly rushing between doors in a building just to stop and take a nice deep breath. ### The Power of Pause Embracing this new pace has not only allowed me to appreciate the world around me more deeply but has also led to a profound sense of gratitude for the present moment, regardless of what it might hold. I've started to listen more intently to the people around me, understanding their words and the silence between them. Conversations have become more meaningful, not because the topics have changed, but because my presence has. I'm there, truly there, with them, and this has deepened my connections in ways I hadn't anticipated. In moments of stillness, I've found clarity and solutions to problems that seemed insurmountable when my mind was racing. These pauses have become my secret weapon, allowing me to approach situations with a calmness and perspective that was previously foreign to me. As with any profound change, the journey towards being present is ongoing. There are still days when old habits surface, urging me to rush through life. But now, I have the tools and the awareness to recognize these moments and gently guide myself back to the present. This transformation has not only improved my quality of life but has also made me a better friend, partner, and colleague. I've learned that being present isn't just about enjoying the good times but about fully experiencing the spectrum of life, with all its ups and downs, and finding beauty and lessons in every moment. In that New Year's Eve moment, when I voiced my resolution to be present, I couldn't have fully grasped the breadth of the journey I was embarking on. It's been a path of self-discovery, learning, and, most importantly, connection. Being present is not a destination but a way of traveling through life. It's about slowing down to appreciate the journey, not just the destination. It's a commitment to living fully, embracing each moment with openness and gratitude. And as I continue on this path, I look forward to the endless possibilities that being truly present has to offer.